The point of it all

We can become anything we wish to become in this life.The power within us is infinite.Once you tap into the Zero point , the still point inside you, the God within you ,you realize that suddenly ,life is not what it appears to be on the surface.The whole problem lies ofcourse in accessing this zero point.Not that it is inaccessible. the only obstacle or hurdle we need to jump across before we reach our true selves- the zero point , is our very own mind!
The mind is so busy chattering that the experiencer part of us gets caught up in the drama and the excitement of it all.With the mind constantly chattering ,we really miss the point! The zero point!. The only point in us which is real.
That is why the Rishis exhort us to meditate. Meditation is not concentration where you affirm various things about yourself to bring it into your reality. That is only one phase of your inner transformation.
Meditation is simply this. Silencing your mind so that once the clouds of your mind become still you can peep into the bottom of the lake- and see the still point of infinite potentiality within you.
At first it is just a glimpse. That glimpse is enough to show you however that the clouds and thoughts that run your life are not real.What relief! All those mental projections of envy, darkness, pain, sickness are only that- projections.You need not get entangled in them any more.you can just drop it by deciding to do so.That glimpse into the zero point called the gap, or satori, is enough to bring about a shift in perspective.Once you taste the peace that passes all unsderstanding , the Christ spoke about , in this gap, you are hooked.Further quietening of the mind leads to longer gaps- Samadhi, and once you have become master of your mind and are centred in this zero point , you are a Master- Enlightened!
Here the drama in your world ends but your world itself doesnot end -unless you want it to. Now you have the secret key. You know you are co creator with God.You create your own destiny through the power of your intentions.With the energy you save by withdrawing the mind from worry and fear which are the greatest depletors you focus your thoughts on the highest expressions of Life.Joy, peace and Love are your reality. Utopia is no longer something that belongs to fiction.You now know that you are what you say you are.You are the centre of the universe and the whole of it and for you the Golden age has already started.
This is the key. Access the zero point by stilling your mind and being aware of the gap between thoughts, the gap between breaths.Meditation will help you still the mind and being A WITNESS will help you become aware of the gap.
Being a witness and meditating regularly will lead you home -to the God within you. The zero point of stillness.

I really am that which I am

If you scroll down you will see my article I am that I am. This was received with mixed reactions when it was published.Two readers felt that I was advocating selfishness- saying I am what I am .Accept me as I am if you will or I  don't care.They felt that  the article smacked of arrogance.

I  knew that they hadn't got the essence of what  I had meant but then I had no words to explain it clearly to them.

It was a week back that I came across an article which spoke of the mask self. I had always known that we have a lower self or ego which experiences the world and a Higher self ,which  can be seen as the figure above the lowest figure in my profile picture.Life is a dance between this Higher self and the lower self. There is a third self the ego takes on to keep up its face in society- the Mask self ,or the self we put on to convince society that we are the ideal people society expects us to be.Once I  realized that this masked self is the most dangerous self with its sickly sweet behaviour conforming  to the roles society expects you to play, I understood clearly why I really needed to have the courage to accept my lower self and say I am that I am.I am an angry upset person now. I accept it but now that I have the courage to recognize who I am I need not hide my feeling under a mask of politeness. When I am really aware of how I am operating  now , I have the freedom to raise my lower self to its higher counterpart. If  I don't accept that I am what I am now ,I will bury my feelings and emotions under a mask until finally one day they explode when I am least aware of it.That's how the Masked self has made us victims of emotional outbursts . They are our hidden feelings coming up to the surface for light and resolution.

That also explains why I was hesitant a few weeks back when an organization asked me to contribute to a cause. I wondered if I was being a cheap skates by refusing to saying that I would give only when I felt like giving and to whom I  felt like giving.A small voice inside me told me urgently to put  my  name on the list lest the rest of the group think I was cheap. Needless to say I succumbed to its egoistic pressure and wrote out an amount just to conform and play the role of a contributor.One would think that it was my Higher self telling me to give but now I understand the messages of my Higher self better.

That urgent message had been  the masked self speaking.My authentic Higher self  self had told me that giving should come from the heart and it should not be done just to keep up appearances.It is a self that needs only to express its wholeness and joy. It needs no ones approval.

I am that I am and when I give in the future , it will be out of completeness as an expression of who I am and now out of a masked emptiness trying to buy peoples approval.

Truly now that I  understand my mantra I am that I am  and why I  need to have the courage to be that which I am, whether Higher or lower, I have been freed.I say courage because it sometimes is tough to be true to yourself when you know society is watching your every move and is ready to judge you but again what is  this society we are all trying to please ? It is just the opinions of a given group of people and these opinions can change in the twinkling of an eye and is not worth breaking ones head over!

Higher and lower are only relative states leading to the dance of Life and it is only when I embrace both and enjoy all the moments I go through that I move towards the Absolute  who created this light and shadow play.

I then truly enjoy this cosmic dance and dance along !

Pause a sec

Life goes on.I too get caught up in the rat race, rushing to the school where I work, looking after tons of screaming children and trying not to scream myself.It sometimes becomes so hectic that I feel that if breathing doesn't happen automatically I would have no time to breathe.

Then I remember.That is the golden moment.That is the moment that I need to pause, take a deep breath and tell myself that if I have gotten so busy that I cannot take two minutes to look within and connect to myself,I really am caught up in the illusion.That is the ideal time to drop it all and sit still wherever I am and catch up with myself.
Surprisingly the world does not come to an end.Things do not get held up as I thought they would.
It is only my ego which makes me feel I have to keep running.
I can always stop at any time.I can breathe,breathe in life, breathe in nothingness,breathe in bliss.
The choice is with me.I am in control.The dishes can wait.I can go slow with my test corrections.And when I go slow and breathe in the magic of life,all these get down effortlessly.

Now that I don't have to be a Zen master- I am free to be one!

Well, now that I have accepted that I am not a Zen master, it leaves me free, free not to live up to expectations of others, free even to disentangle myself from my own expectations. When I have no expectations and I am free, what fills me is a “Peace that passeth all understanding.” And in this peace I am able to really take the steps needed to be a Zen Master- not because it is the expected thing or the right thing to do, but because it is a natural expression of who I really am- My pure spirit self!

On being Peace

I have been trying to express the peace I always feel within me and when I meditate but somehow if you have been following my posts you must have realized that it never really translated itself in my physical life.

Well,enough is enough. I just about got fed up with the agitations and rushing around being too busy with the demands of life. I came to a point where I realized that I had wasted enough time giving peace a go. So now I am doing a lot of research on why I am not able to float around in the world as calm and peaceful as a master-Zen or otherwise.


The tips the Universe gave me are-First I must hold the intention for peace and call for peace when I meditate, second I need to be really still when I am meditating, not answer when someone calls, not get up when the phone rings. I must still my body and my mind and intellect at least for the time I do sitting meditation. Then when I go out into the world I need to “Step back” as The Mother of Aurobindo ashram says and remember Peace.


I need to decide what it is I want- the need to be right or peace. As usual I need to make a choice. The choice I make will be greatly influenced by what I believe in. If I think that the world is all there is, then I shall be hurrying and scurrying running around and getting nowhere. If instead I believe that I am a spiritual being just having a human adventure I will concern myself with the sweet nothingness of life. I will smell the roses; enjoy the coffee and sunsets. Just as I write this the solar eclipse is going on. Looking at the park just in front of my house the whole area looks other worldly. As if dawn is just breaking though it is one  o’clock noon now. The koels were crying a few minutes back. The light was different. When I take the time to really see, the big and small things of life,life appears in a different light. It rolls itself at my feet and peace becomes a reality.

I am not a zen master

“How come you get angry though you are into meditation and all that stuff?” many of my friends asked me when they saw I had not sprouted a halo.

I would then sigh and wonder what I was doing wrong. I too wanted to walk around like one of the Zen masters you see and hear about, looking peaceful and without a care in the world. How did they do it? I wondered. Was it because of their constant attention on their breath? Was it because they made their whole life a meditation?
I did a lot of work on myself, trying to regulate the breath, trying out various meditations. But the more I meditated the more circumstances appeared in my life which triggered my dark self- the shadow self. All the meditation I was doing was bringing up stored up memories which had been hiding in my subconsious. The more I turned my focus from the ego to my soul the more negativities came up. I found that from being a fairly quiet calm person I was running about like a cat on hot bricks.
I met a few friends who were into meditation and they reported the same thing. Friends  and family were criticizing them for not reducing their anger or other negativities.
It was then my friends and I realized that our spiritual path this moment was not about being Zen masters .It was about being ourselves. It was about feeling the emotions we were having instead of trying to be masters before our time. There is a time for everything and now was the time for our souls to give us a good spring cleaning. Yes, Life was doing a spring cleaning on us. It was taking us to the basement where we had swept down all our dirt. It was bringing up all the dust into the forefront so that we could be aware that it was there and clean it away. How on earth would we know what was hidden in our subconsciousness unless a trigger came along to bring those emotions we had suppressed, to the surface. Only once we were aware of it could we claim responsibility for it. You cannot release what you don’t hold. Once we accepted and identified the emotion, we could make a choice. Hold on or let it go.
People expect you to sprout a halo the minute they hear that you are into meditation but things aren’t that easy. We have built up all the negativities down the ages and unraveling it also takes time. Things would be hunky dory if we could always release negativities with a smile and show the other cheek but that is not how things work. In life you win some you lose some. Sometimes we choose to hold on to the anger to the resentment. The thing to do then is not kick ourselves but accept it as part of our humanness and make a decision to make a higher choice the next time.
One way to make the path easier is to see the bigger picture. To pause in the moment of temper or stress or anxiety  and realize that the person or situation that is pushing your buttons is actually an angel sent by life to give you an opportunity to say goodbye to one toxic emotion. The minute you think of the villain as a godsend, the equation changes. A shift occurs and your anger subsides, your low spirits rise. You can release yet another emotion that has been thrown up from the subconscious.
That is what life is all about. Releasing all the negativities till all that is left is the true self, pure being.
That is what is called enlightenment.